The Old Deptford Stretch

When you're stuck in traffic in a car behind a very tall vehicle, and you end up trying to lean out of your window to see what the hold-up is.

verified Dr. M. Vassiliou · TML/F-204b · clerk G.L.S.

Sometimes I look out on Clapham Common, and I live opposite, and you can see people who are sort of substitutes of any sport that's going on. And you see them, as they sense they might be substituted, vaguely stretching. Just doing something that is so unlike anything professional. But it's a desultry warm-up. It's just like watching the game and they just put a fist under one elbow and do that stretching across. And then now they're waiting, just kicking the studs.

verified Dr. M. Vassiliou · TML/F-217 · clerk G.L.S.

That bit of road coming up where you know you can overtake the Sunday driver in front.

verified Mrs. P. Akande · TML/F-204 · clerk H.M.

The gap between the story and the truth directly proportionate to how much the story voice is rising.

verified Mr. G. Coleridge · TML/F-201 · clerk J.B.

An elderly person trying to disembark a boat and has one foot on the pier and one on the boat. The boat moves away and they end up in a hideous split before dropping like a stone into the drink.

verified Dr. M. Vassiliou · TML/F-217 · clerk B.J.W.

A section of main road with strawberry cellars in every lay-by for miles.

verified Dr. R. Hollis · TML/F-204b · clerk P.W.

When you're in a supermarket looking for that jar of mayo, and you do that matrix smooth bending back. Just lean back a bit to look at the lower shelves.

verified Mr. G. Coleridge · TML/F-201 · clerk B.J.W.

Row of houses in Kent, where the owners were all former Londoners who sold up for seven times what they purchased for.

verified Mr. H. Okafor · TML/F-204b · clerk G.L.S.

When you stand up from the sofa at the end of an evening in front of the TV, put your hands on your hips, lean back slightly and exclaim, Ah, right, I'm off. I'm off upstairs. Followed by an enormous yawn.

verified Dr. J. Marston · TML/F-201 · clerk C.P.

When a four-year-old has to go and visit his nan and she has nothing in the house that can entertain a four-year-old. Hours seem like years.

verified Dr. R. Hollis · TML/F-217 · clerk G.L.S.

The long walkway at the airport made up of a dozen or more travelators.

verified Dr. J. Marston · TML/F-204 · clerk R.O.M.

The pulling of those long balloons before you try and blow them up. So you don't get a pain in your cheek or ear area.

verified Dr. M. Vassiliou · TML/F-217 · clerk J.B.

The stretch you have to do to get the toilet roll after it falls and rolls away from you as you're sitting on the toilet.

verified Mr. G. Coleridge · TML/F-201 · clerk P.W.

When you're not really in a round with a group of friends at the bar, but you stretch over and put your empty pint glass on the bar near the person about to buy the round.

verified Mr. H. Okafor · TML/F-204 · clerk M.L.

The river crossing that doesn't quite reach the other side.

verified Dr. M. Vassiliou · TML/F-204 · clerk J.B.

After a meal at your mum's, you sort of reach out as a gesture to clear the plates. Knowing full well she goes, don't get up, love, I'll start this. *

verified Dr. M. Vassiliou · TML/F-217 · clerk B.J.W.

When you're in a supermarket looking for that jar of mayonnaise and you do that matrix bend backwards rather than just turning around to look properly.

verified Mrs. E. Tindall · TML/F-204 · clerk M.L.

The gap between the story and the truth, directly proportionate to how much the storyteller's voice is rising. §

verified Dr. J. Marston · TML/F-201 · clerk H.M.

The pulling of those long balloons before you try to blow them up so you don't get that pain in your ear or cheek.

verified Dr. R. Hollis · TML/F-204b · clerk J.B.