The Old Caledonian Thistle

I think it's either a real ale or it's a very scratchy Aaron sweater or hiking sock.

verified Mr. G. Coleridge · TML/F-204 · clerk G.L.S.

Sometimes when you're eating curries or any sort of more stewy kind of gravy-based dish, you'll suddenly, there's something hard in there. And you know it's not meat. It's definitely from the world of vegetation. And you sort of crunch it. It's like, ah, that's disgusting. What is that? What is that? Who puts that in? It's like, boom. Cardamom, pardor. Or it's just sort of uncomfortable. Or a time snack. Yeah, a broken way too.

verified Mr. H. Okafor · TML/F-204 · clerk N.R.

A big facial mole with loads of black hairs popping out of it.

verified Mrs. E. Tindall · TML/F-204b · clerk M.L.

That nail which is poking up through the carpet, which you find once you step on it. Damn! I'm walking along. Bang!

verified Mr. H. Okafor · TML/F-204b · clerk C.P.

Just a toilet brush.

verified Mr. G. Coleridge · TML/F-204b · clerk R.O.M.

Any improvised toothpick.

verified Mrs. P. Akande · TML/F-204 · clerk G.L.S.

The little Scottish midfielder, no taller than 5'5", that every Sunday League team has, who's renowned for being really punchy and vicious, usually known as Mack or Jock.

verified Mr. G. Coleridge · TML/F-201 · clerk M.L.

A piece of poppadon which shatters and gets stuck in your throat whilst out for a ruby.

verified Mrs. P. Akande · TML/F-217 · clerk M.L.

The slightest throat tickle requiring a medicinal dram.

verified Dr. J. Marston · TML/F-217 · clerk M.L.

The leg of a lanky man in shorts. *

verified Dr. M. Vassiliou · TML/F-217 · clerk H.M.

The cactus you have in a small pot in your dining room, which always looks like it's 15 hours away from being unrevivable. ⁂

verified Mr. G. Coleridge · TML/F-217 · clerk A.D.

Just that little bit you just don't get when shaving. You'll notice it later.

verified Mr. G. Coleridge · TML/F-204b · clerk S.T.A.

When your wee and your Uncle Tam visits from Scotland and gives you a cuddle with his stubble rubbing into your face deliberately.

verified Dr. R. Hollis · TML/F-201 · clerk S.T.A.

The sharp bit of toenail in the corner after you've finished clipping them.

verified Mr. G. Coleridge · TML/F-204 · clerk M.L.

That strange twitch you get in your pocket that you assume is a text, but your phone isn't there.

verified Mr. G. Coleridge · TML/F-204b · clerk P.W.

The itch at the bottom of your foot when you're driving that you just have to endure.

verified Dr. R. Hollis · TML/F-201 · clerk R.O.M.

The peacocking English fellow who wears a kilt to a wedding, even though he's got no Scottish heritage whatsoever.

verified Mr. G. Coleridge · TML/F-217 · clerk A.D.

That member of staff in the Scottish border region, Southern Station, with a frosty disposition.

verified Mrs. E. Tindall · TML/F-204b · clerk C.P.

A tuft of chest hair that can be seen protruding from a shirt. It's maybe got one too many buttons undone. Usually in the older generation, accompanied by an oversized gold chain.

verified Dr. M. Vassiliou · TML/F-201 · clerk R.O.M.

Weird vegetation that grows out of your gutters even when your grass in the garden is brown and boat dry, it's up there like a bloody forest.

verified Dr. J. Marston · TML/F-204 · clerk C.P.