The Old Surrey Fringe

When someone's cut their own hair. Like Sunset did the other day. It's just a bit Nice About a year ago You cut it And it came in And I said you cut your own hair And you went yeah Because it's the old Surrey fringe

verified Mrs. E. Tindall · TML/F-217 · clerk D.E.H.

When you have to squint Because it's got so long You can't see past your own fringe Well that's your Surrey fringe So it's a fringe That's got so long You've got to squint

verified Mr. H. Okafor · TML/F-204 · clerk R.O.M.

Any play that's on in Guildford. Do you know what? There's a theatre right near me, which is... I'll tell you how bad it is, yeah? Go on. Marcus Brigstock was doing his warm-up for Edinburgh there. Kidding. Yeah, I mean, I just don't know who buys into that. At all. I mean, the idea... Marcus Brigstock's there. Does that generate any... Great! Oh, great! Wow, I can't wait to see someone whose whole shtick is just being normal. No offence, Marcus Brigstock's a good comedian, but he's not going to... Oh, yeah, definitely! of that. Wow! In Woking. But that, again, it's anything advertised at any local theatres that's just you rule out. It's unexpected. Especially if you've been on Big Brother before and you're the star of this play or whatever. But more than that, you think who would go to that? Exactly, yeah. And the answer is relatives of the performers.

verified Dr. J. Marston · TML/F-204b · clerk N.R.

The afternoon street performers in Kingston upon Thames High Street.

verified Mr. H. Okafor · TML/F-217 · clerk M.L.

When your five-year-old relatives put on a 15-minute musical in the dining room at a family gathering, and you have to pretend it's excellent. And you really have to pretend.

verified Mrs. P. Akande · TML/F-217 · clerk G.L.S.

The pair of insanely hairy eyebrows sported by the most tweed aristocrats Exactly right Willie Whitelaw In the old days, in the old days, aristos, and that lot who look quite those sort of degenerate taurus. They sort of cultivated those eyebrows. Spent the afternoon in some dreadful place in a harness. But they always sort of have those comb-overs where you can see individual strands. That's right. And also eyebrows that are crazy. and they just, the lack of, it's like an anti-vanity. It is, yeah. It's like I'm going to make myself look ridiculous. It's like an entity. Might as well grow the eyebrows so much they can comb them back over their head. Over their head, but it's like they take pride in it, looking a sort of brilliantly mad, sort of horror.

verified Mrs. E. Tindall · TML/F-201 · clerk C.P.

The unintended fraying on the back of your jeans hem when the legs are too long and they drag on the floor.

verified Mrs. P. Akande · TML/F-204 · clerk J.B.

The first road you reach in Surrey where the number of middle-aged men in Lycra outnumbers vehicles. That's the cyclist, yes.

verified Mrs. E. Tindall · TML/F-217 · clerk H.M.

The area behind the driver's seat that is just out of reach for a driver when trying to reach a drink their toddler's just dropped.

verified Dr. M. Vassiliou · TML/F-204 · clerk P.W.

When you're hanging around the edge of a kickabout in the park, collecting the ball when it goes off the pitch, hoping they invite you to play but Mitch that involves that does involve the old Mexican pass What that When the ball rolls to you and you walking along with a girlfriend or wife Right. And the ball rolls to you and you kick it in such a way where you hope the people playing will think, yeah, sign him up. You really take pride in it, don't you? Yeah, first touch kick. Yeah, and then you have to walk off with that wave like, Yeah, because if I wasn't with her, I'm spiritually with you guys.

verified Dr. J. Marston · TML/F-201 · clerk P.W.

The tassels of brand new leather adorning both the Harley Davidson and the matching motorcycle jacket of the new age biker.

verified Mr. G. Coleridge · TML/F-217 · clerk R.O.M.

When a golfer has spent too much time in the sun with the baseball cap on.

verified Dr. M. Vassiliou · TML/F-217 · clerk H.M.

The hair surrounding a man's belly button that traps the belly button fluff.

verified Mr. G. Coleridge · TML/F-204b · clerk P.W.

When you just helped your mate move house and you want him to look like you worked harder than anyone else after unloading the removal truck by pretending not to notice the sweat beads dripping down your forehead.

verified Dr. J. Marston · TML/F-204b · clerk G.L.S.

The area of grass that you can't quite reach with the mower when you're cutting your lawn. It's alongside the wall or the fence.

verified Mr. G. Coleridge · TML/F-204b · clerk A.D.